Asking Eric: I thought I was making a new friend, then she invaded my privacy in an unforgivable way

Source Domain: www.syracuse.com

Dear Eric: I met M on a tour of Greece, and we communicated afterward through phone calls and emails since M lived in Iowa and I live in NY.

M made plans to visit me and although it wasn’t the best time, I agreed to her staying with me. I have a small house without a guest room but would give her my room and I would sleep on the sleeper sofa. On the day of her arrival, I made a stupid mistake and fell hurting my back. I carried on although hurting.

I had a list of best places to visit. This was her first day and I tried to make her trip as good as I could taking her to various places of interest and restaurants.

We spent a day at the zoo and M threw out the small water bottle I had given her to use. I was disappointed since the bottle was reusable and fit nicely in a purse. The next day she said she was going to stay in a hotel near the airport so I could make my tax appointment the next morning without worrying about getting her to the airport.

I took her and we left on a friendly note. We shared expenses such as entrance fees and meals. After M returned to her home, I received a package of small bottles, cleaned to make up for the one she threw away. Never received a thank you note.

After M left, I found she had looked through my desk and other personal papers. I was shocked. I know it was strange she spent time in the room but thought she was tired or reading.

My family has told me, “I told you so.” Now I don’t trust myself to make good choices when meeting new people. What can you tell me? Was this a learning experience?

– No Longer a Trusting Friend

Dear Friend: Don’t let this bad apple spoil the bunch. It sounds like you went out of your way to make the trip nice for M and M’s response was fine, if a bit underwhelming. That would all be fixable. But the violation of privacy is a problem. You should take steps to ensure she hasn’t compromised your identity or your credit in some way.

If you’re worried about your judgment when meeting other new…

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